Hi my name is Cayla Hamilton and I was asked to write a blog pertaining to weight loss and dieting, so I decided to talk about one thing I know a lot about. Eating Disorders (ED’s) Lately our society has portrayed beautiful as stick thin and almost weightless, consequently the rate of ED’s has went up drastically, mostly in girls ages 12-25, but that doesn’t exclude men. There are several types of ED’s Anorexia (ANA) is sn ED where the person is known to starve their selves for days eating only minimal to survive. In girls who have been Anorexic for a long period of time 4+ years have been know to stop menstruating, and sadly often die if not receiving help. Another ED is Bulimia (MIA) in this ED the person often binges (eats more than an average portion all at one time) then they purge (force their selves to vomit) this ED can cause loss of menstruation but in some cases it doesn’t. Now we’re at my ED and this ED is often over looked as “fake” or “not real” it is EN-DOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified) in this ED you may eat normally some days starve your self for weeks then binge and purge another week, it all very unpredictable. This ED unlike the others often goes undetected as it has for me and some people are tiny but “average” or even heavy, but this ED I consider the worst, because its so unpredictable your emotions are often distorted. For example you can go a week with out any food then go out with some friends and eat a bunch of food then go home and purge it but knowing that it was still in you kills you and often with this ED self mutilation occurs more frequently due to the feels of self doubt and low worth, I personally have struggled with self mutilation since I was roughly 8 years old when my ED’s first started. I have been through almost every ED known to man, it wasn’t till 2 years ago that I realized that what I did wasn’t normal due to a school report on eating disorders in the worlds youth. When my ED’s first started I was 8 and most 8 year olds aren’t tiny but I was a bit bigger than the rest and it upset me to see all these girls in bathing suits and not having pudge hanging over on their sides, my first ED was Bulimia at age 8 I was purging and binging my parents noticed what I was doing and instead of getting me help then they moved me to a new town thinking getting me out of the city would help. So they moved me to a really small town where I started another ED at age 9 it was Compulsive Over Eating (COE, also another widely over looked ED) I ate almost every chance I got for no reason at all and my weight ballooned but age 13 I was pushing 250 pounds and I hated myself this is where my self mutilation escalated then I stopped eating and started doing sports such as swimming and basketball. I noticed that I was losing a lot of weight and I loved it so I kept not eating and adding more and more activities to my schedule to make sure that I would burn more calories I wouldn’t ever drink anything over 100 cals so most the time I was drinking water it kept me hydrated but didn’t give me enough nutrients, basically I got really sick to the point that for almost a whole year I stopped menstruating and was missing a lot of school my grades fell and I pretty much hit rock bottom. For about a year and a half I was healthy no self mutilation no starving just plain healthy, then my brother died and because of this it sent me back to coping with things the only way I knew how eating, I stopped eating then I would eat then I wouldn’t I would mutilate to the point of causing seirous harm to myself, and I knew I was scaring my friends ad family but I couldn’t help it. As crazy as that seems it became part of my life and I thought with out it I would die. Then a met Ryan and he helped me with a lot of the phobias of getting healthy again and stopping hurting myself. He had me healthy and clean for roughly 6 months till I miscarried I really shouldn’t have been pregnant in the first place considering I was 16 but I didn’t care now looking back it was for the best but it sent me into depression yet again and landed me where I am today I’m 18 and I’m classified as EN-DOS but the last 5 months I’ve been going more towards Anorexia, my body fat is at 3% a normal girl my age and height should be at least 10%, yet I still want to lose more, don’t ask me why I really don’t know I want to be “pretty” I want to be thin I want to be a size 1 and look good not a 5 with lube handles, everyday I avoid the kitchen I try and go out so my parents can’t try to make me eat, I lie to my friends and to my parents I tell them I’m not hungry I ate a lot a couple hours ago or I’m not feeling well I’m going to go upstairs and lay down, but instead I go upstairs and do over 500 crunches trying to get my tummy flat or 300 leg lifts to get my but to look amazing in my eyes none of this is working people comment “wow you’ve lost so much weight, you look really good” or I’ll talk about needing to get rid of some “flub” and they yell at me asking what “flub”. Lately one my friends I confide everything in found out, I thought she would be mad but she wasn’t she started and I hate to see her go through this but at the same time I’m glad there’s some one who actually understands and doesn’t judge. Having and ED comes with consequences because I don’t eat normally my vitamins to keep me healthy and moving aren’t there so my knees are wearing out from walking running using them with out eating and replenishing the nutrients my body needs and my immune system is really down I’ve been sick more this year than I have in several years.
Basically this is the beginning to a bunch of blogs, I hope, on how to do it the “unhealthy” way. the reason for the paragraph above is to show to you that this goes along with doing this that if you want to be healthy and normal then DO NOT “TRY” THIS, because I guarantee no one just tries this for a few months it becomes an obsession I’ve seen it first hand and I’ve lived it. If you want a healthier way then feel free to look at the other blogs, if you think that your up to this life of torture then feel free to come by and look at this blog at any time.

Much Love,
Cayla Hamilton